Lately, more than every, I am reminded that life is a roller coaster, and you should never get too comfortable.
Guys, I’m engaged. And while I’m excited out of my mind, it’s been really hard for me to grasp. Kurtis had me convinced he wasn’t ready to get married. That it was probably gonna be at least a year or two before we got engaged. And while I knew I had to respect the fact that he wasn’t ready and be patient, it broke my heart. While we have our disagreements and tough times, we have an extremely strong relationship. It amazed me how every time we came to an obstacle we somehow got through it. Love is stronger than anything I know. Our love is stronger than anything I know. And because of this, I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to marry me.
We have been together almost 3 years now, we’ve gotten through everything that we have, I love him more than I ever thought possible, we’re older now, we make decent money, why doesn’t he want to marry me?
It broke my heart.
Now I know he was just trying to throw me off, to make it a huge surprise when he proposed. and believe me, it was a HUGE surprise. (I don’t think most girl’s first reaction to a proposal is to ask their boyfriend if he’s serious…whoops. But I recovered, and said yes)
I’m so glad he made it such a big surprise. That made it so much fun for me. But it means everything I thought was true wasn’t.
I spent the last 6 months obsessing over the face that he didn’t want to get engaged. Trying my hardest not to watch wedding shows, unfollowing all my friends wedding pinterest boards, because all of it just made me sad. But the whole time I was going through all this he. had. the. ring. And it just blows my mind!
And pictured the next two years of my life so often thinking about how I’ll probably still be living at home and Kurtis will still be living at home and everything will still be the same and I’ll be bored out of my mind.
But now I picture the next two years of my life completely differently, and I can’t believe this is how it was going to be all along. He knew it and I didn’t. This is why being a girl is so hard you guys, the man in your life controls all of this and you just have to sit back and wait for it! But let me tell you, while it’s hard, it’s completely and totally worth it. I’m living proof.