I don’t know if I can share you.

I’m spoiled.

Rotten. 

I married my high school sweetheart 468 days ago and it’s been me and him against the world ever since. He’s been the most important person in my life and I have been his. Every morning when I wake up, he is my first concern. We text while we’re apart and I spend all day excited to come home and see him. 

I love him more than I ever knew I was capable of. 

I’m a princess and I often get treated as such. He makes my safety his number one priority and I fall asleep every night knowing I am loved.

What am I going to do when that changes?

When I wake up and someone else is my first concern? When he loves and protects someone else just as much as he loves and protects me? When I don’t have him all to myself anymore?

What if there’s not enough love to go around?

These are the things that race through my mind as I’m laying in bed at night. How will we handle all this? One day poof everything changes. Suddenly, there’s another person added to our little team. A little person who is now in this with us till the end. 

14 weeks or less from now, it won’t be just you and I anymore. And while I feel excited, joyus even, there’s a deeper part of me that is so, so scared. We’re willingly giving up everything for our little guy. I would do it 100 times over because the love I feel for him when I feel him move in my tummy is stronger than anything I’ve ever known. I don’t even recognize it, it’s so new and intense and overwhelming. I’m sure those feelings are the first of many. As I sort through my feelings and worries about everything, I know two things for certain. 

#1 We can do this

#2 We may be expanding our little team, and that may be scary, but we are only going to be a stronger team because of it. 

My love for my husband can only grow as I watch him become a father. And while it seems sad to share his attention with someone else, he’ll be sharing my attention too. And we’ll have something new that we didn’t have before. 

Our own little family.

And that can’t possibly be that scary, right? 

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“Behold, God is my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord is my strength and my song; He also has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2

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3 thoughts on “I don’t know if I can share you.

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